My local pub had been becoming a dump. Slowly but surely it had become obvious. And finally it closed down. Since it has closed it has been bought, remodelled and has now re-opened as a bar / restaurant.

It has been done as a Turkish / Egyptian place with sparkling pillows, luscious drapes, felt table cloths and so on. But the thing is that the locals haven't moved on. The same wide boys (or former wide boys, now formally) are still standing at the bar, still making their same old jokes, still worrying about somebody accusing them of being gay (their macho bravado has to be about something doesn't it?)

And so they are all standing there in amongst all the drapes, and cushions chatting about the horses and dogs clutching their genitals and saying things like, "what sort of things this place supposed to be then?"
"Well it's Egyptian Turkish innit."
"Oh I didn't realise."
"Well no, it's not supposed to be one of those obvious places where you.."
"Where you walk in and know what you're getting."
"Right. It's more..."
"Supposed to be a surprise."
"I wonder who's going to sand their floors."