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Here is a diary entry of mine from the year 2000. One day from august each day this week.
Thursday - Hamlet
I need more sleep. Even with caffeine I'm shaking and my mind keeps slipping
away. I'm in work early, 7am, to try and deal with my workload and that I
have to leave early to go to the play and I'm going to have to take a 2 hour
lunch break to go and meet Ayckbourn and obviously perhaps Spacey. Thinking
about it I realise that I haven't told anyone about him possibly turning up.
I've managed to steal my mothers ticket because she's not going to be able
to make it anyway. The one I gave away to him was mine. I realised as I was
doing it that perhaps there would be a bizarre situation where I would have
invited a celebrity to a venue only to be not able to make it myself. It
would have been quite funny to have him just standing there trying to
explain to Susan that he had been invited by this guy called Alex who had
said it would be okay. As I was thinking about it I obviously remembered
that it wasn't going to be terribly likely that he would show up for these
same reasons. I of course might have been planning some kind of assignation
attempt somewhere in the bowels of the National Theatre. Of course being the
serious kind of actor that he is, this might very well have been exactly the
kind of thing that would have appealed to his thespian sensibilities.
More sleep, more sleep, more sleep. At around 10am I spill coffee over my
shirt. The right hand cuff of this white shirt is now brown.
I leave the office at 11. Remembering only moments before to inform my team
that I'll be gone. Of course this provokes serious debate of how I should be
contacted in case of any problems. I tell them I'll be available on my
mobile, and turn it off as I slip it into my jacket.
I walk across London Bridge and the sun is shining. Seriously good weather,
feeling terrible really but somehow the sun manages to lift me. As I get to
the south bank the clouds come from nowhere. Literally like somebody has
just turned on the washing machine we call the sky and the washing liquid is
being squirted in from some unknown source. Milky billows quickly turn gray,
and I'm watching this thing totally amazed by what's going on. And then it
rains. Within two minutes there is actually an inch of water covering the
ground. I've found shelter, but it's still raining. And I'm going to be
late. I'm five minutes run away from the National and I know I'll be so
soaked. But I have to get there, too much rests on it, and the people I'm
meeting are already inside the building. So they won't be cowering somewhere
like I am. So I go...
Totally soaking, nobody is in the foyer. Run to the washroom. Trying to find
a hand-dryer to squeeze myself into. I know it's going to be cramped but
considering the circumstances I know I'll manage it. The first thing that I
notice when I get into the toilets is that there is no nozzle on the dryers.
It's one of those with the kind of chamber for your hands to go in. I take
my jacket off which is certainly the wettest part of my attire and try and
get as much of it in as possible. It's only 11:30 am the theatre isn't that
crowded, and I'm thinking I can probably get away with the trousers. So I
take my jacket out and put it on because there is nowhere else for it to go,
and I take my trousers off. They are absolutely soaked, the parts that were
closest to the ground look black and considering this is my gray suit that
is quite an achievement. So standing there in my boxer shorts and a suit
jacket. Water running down my face because no matter how I try I can't get
my hair dry and somebody walks in, and he just stands there staring at me. I
realise about 20 seconds too late that now I'm staring at him staring at me.
I've got to say something to break the deadlock but what? And then he
speaks, he's hardly able to contain himself as he does it, "Did you, have an
accident?"
"Er, no, it was raining."
"Really!" and he laughs, he's laughing at me, and he turns around and walks
out. Not even hesitating to sample any of the many magnificent facilities of
the rest-room. My trousers are getting better, I've been turning them
constantly the whole time and they are still wet, but they are much better.
I put them on, relishing the warm feeling that I get.
Back in the foyer everyone I speak to starts their conversation with "So is
it raining?" I for some reason start saying "You should have seen the other
guy" and they back off a little.
Behind certain parts of the theatre there are offices. In between all the
dead space are all these strangely shaped rooms. Just regular offices for
people with regular jobs making sure the money comes in regularly or at
least often enough. We're taken through the winding corridors into this room
conference room we're told to keep quiet not for rehearsals or anything of
that kind but just because of these office types are trying to concentrate.
"We don't want all the bean counters knocking one of their hill of beans
over." Another person who mixes their metaphors. "Some of your group," he
says, "are already here."
It's Spacey and his entourage. Or rather him and two others. But they are
sitting at the back and keeping quiet. He nods over at me but says nothing.
He has obviously employed this technique to make it so that people don't
approach him and for the most part it seems to work. The room isn't too
large, around the size of a classroom, with one large conference table in
the middle. We sit. I sit right by one of the side walls of the room. The
room and the table in it are rectangular so Spacey is at the short side
furthest from the door, Ayckbourn will be sitting directly opposite him at
the other short side, right by the door. And I am sitting between them in
the middle or rather between them on the side as the table is in the middle.
The Questions are strange and flabby. Somebody actually asks him where he
gets his ideas from! But he's obviously used to this kind of thing and he
tires to avoid actually waiting long enough for a question to be asked
between his sentences. He does say some very interesting things which I will
condense for you here.
1. It takes him only 8 to 10 days to write the actual script. In
reality he says the creative process takes him around 9 months. He starts
out by deciding what the "situation" is, he then decides how technically to
deal with the situation and then he creates the characters. He lives with
the characters and goes for long walks. He talks out loud the several
different parts walking along the hills in Scarborough.
2. He said as a warning to young authors, never write the dialogue
until the last moment.
3. He said the smiley symbols in e-mails were a way of people
signifying that they weren't sure that their jokes were actually funny.
4. He said "Although I am best known for my technical achievements in
theatre, I always feel that there is a perfectly good thematic reason for
what I am doing."
So as the talk wraps up, we are informed by the guy who walked us in that
the meeting room is booked back to back with our meeting and so we will have
to leave quickly. In fact I think it is so that Spacey can have some time to
himself with Ayckbourn. We all leave, and I have to get back to work. I'm
thinking about how annoying it is to have to walk all the way back to work
when half a day later I'll be coming back when I remember I'm going to be at
the Globe tonight. Not too far to walk. By the time I'm thinking about this
I'm out of the building and on my way back to the office. Outside I see the
painting, it's covered in water. The plastic cover barely protecting it from
the almost inch of rain that's sitting on top. I'm almost running. I'm late for a meeting.
The afternoon passes in a hectic daze. No recourse but to try and ignore
whatever else is going on in my life. I leave. I'm supposed to be meeting
Susan for dinner, and she's going to be brining along a friend who writes
for TV and films. I figure it'll be interesting. So I'm in a rush. I arrive
and remember that there are two restaurants, both have table service but one
is more serious than the other. There is a queue to even look at the cheaper
restaurant so I scale the two flights of stairs required and peek into the
fancy place. Somebody calls to me across the room, and it takes me a few
moments to realise that I it might not be Susan whose doing the calling. It
turns out that it's my boss. By a strange chance he too has selected tonight
to be watching Hamlet. I amble over to him, make my excuses and dash off. I
totally fail to meet up with Susan before the performance.
Hamlet is highly entertaining. Certainly worth it. I have problems
recognizing the lead. He seems very familiar, and is very good. Suddenly I
realise what it is. Last year the Globe put on a performance of Anthony and
Cleopatra but put it on the way that Shakespeare would have, with an all
male cast. And the man playing Hamlet is the man who played Cleopatra last
year. He is actually the artistic director of the Globe it turns out. This
is very good, but there are certain flairs of things that he does which I'm
not overly keen on. For example, at the end of the performance, for the
certain call all of the actors marched out to a drum beat all carrying
little poles which had sculls stuck on the top of them and all kinds of
other associated madness. That kind of thing is interesting but in reality
not terribly practical. How are people supposed to clap when you have a drum
beat doing something else. They aren't ever on the stage without the drum,
so it doesn't make sense.
Afterwards I loose my mother as she runs off to try and catch her last
train. It means that it's even later by the time that I get home. As I'm
sure your aware Hamlet isn't short and I make it back to the house by
11:30pm. Peter has come over to visit my parents and although they have gone
to bed, he's stayed up waiting for me. This isn't particularly useful as I'm
totally exhausted and know that I need to be awake again in 6 and half
hours. I'm talking to him, and I can't help thinking as each second
disappears that I could be asleep right now. That each second now is a
second less I have before morning. I get to bed at 12:20, asleep by half
past.
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